A Hong Kong Programmer's Late-Stage Cancer Journey: My Fate Is in My Own Hands | Patient Story

If brave enough, one should carry the burden forward until it naturally resolves.
Solving problems isn't about finding quick answers, but bearing them until the day they can be overcome.

In January 2025, Ivy’s husband Tony was diagnosed with advanced colon cancer (T4a-bN1M1) with liver and peritoneal metastases.

Over the past year, Ivy has traveled between Hong Kong, Shenzhen, and Guangzhou, accompanying him on his arduous cancer journey.

On the way to Sun Yat-sen University Cancer Center, a white weather blimp drifted across the sky. Ivy captured the moment on her phone and used it as her WeChat Moments cover with this text.

Hope is like that drifting blimp, its direction uncertain. Yet she remains curious and hopeful, quietly waiting for fate to reveal its answer.

Author | Zhong Lala
Editor | Zhong Lala
Reviewer | Guang Guang

「 I 」

Tony and Ivy’s story began nine summers ago. Ivy was 18, Tony was 27. Fresh out of high school and nursing a recent breakup, Ivy took a summer job at a tea restaurant in Shenzhen. Tony, a Hong Kong programmer assigned to the mainland, lived a rigid routine of work, gym, and home. After seeing Ivy, Tony started visiting the restaurant daily, quietly watching the busy young girl from a corner. At first, Ivy wondered why this quiet man always came and kept looking her way. Eventually, he gathered the courage to add her on WeChat. She accepted with a casual “why not.” Who knew that one casual acceptance would blossom into a nine-year bond. Though Tony seemed reserved, he spoiled Ivy like a cherished child. He said that from the moment he saw her, she seemed to glow, bringing light into his monotonous life. Perhaps this connection was destined; she would become his guardian angel. Later, whether she graduated, worked, or returned to school, she never hesitated, knowing Tony would always support her. This time, their roles reversed. She accompanied him through school and medical treatments, traveling across Guangzhou, Shenzhen, and Hong Kong, overcoming hurdle after hurdle. By his bedside and on the road to treatment, Tony looked at the girl tirelessly caring for him, his eyes holding the same unwavering certainty as their first meeting: “I have always known she is the light that will illuminate the rest of my life.”

「 II 」

For the first seven years of their relationship, Ivy and Tony were mostly long-distance. Tony’s demanding job and constant travel made him ignore his body’s warning signs: frequent gastrointestinal discomfort, diarrhea after hotpot, and occasional rectal bleeding. He dismissed them as minor issues. His company only provided basic medical insurance, with no commercial coverage. He planned to buy insurance once his workload eased, but his health deteriorated before he could. On Christmas 2024, Tony experienced recurring diarrhea and visited a private clinic in Hong Kong. With no family history of gastrointestinal cancer and a generally healthy lifestyle, the doctor diagnosed ordinary gastroenteritis and prescribed anti-diarrheal medication. The diarrhea temporarily stopped, but a new symptom emerged: Tony stopped passing stool or gas, a classic sign of bowel obstruction that went unnoticed. Despite feeling unwell, Tony insisted on joining a company trip to Japan due to high overseas medical costs. He endured the trip and returned to the mainland. On January 10, 2025, Tony returned to Shenzhen. Ivy’s family immediately noticed his severe weight loss and, seeing him suffer from intestinal cramps and sleepless nights, urged him to get a thorough check-up. On January 11, Ivy accompanied Tony to a local public tertiary hospital. The doctor noted his severely distended abdomen and ordered X-rays and contrast CT scans. By evening, the results confirmed colon cancer with liver metastasis. The hospital immediately recommended surgery.

Ivy chose to tell Tony the truth. They stayed awake all night. Ivy frantically searched for colon cancer information online and, by sheer luck, secured an appointment with Professor Lan at the Sixth Affiliated Hospital of Sun Yat-sen University at 3 AM. Tony was deeply shaken. While enduring bowel obstruction pain, his greatest fear was what would happen to Ivy if he passed away.

「 III 」

On January 12, considering the limited local medical resources, Ivy decisively declined the Shenzhen hospital’s surgery plan, discharged Tony, and drove him to Guangzhou to begin their northern journey for treatment. They arrived at the Sixth Affiliated Hospital’s emergency department at noon, but with no beds available, they waited in the ER, sustained by IV nutrition. On January 13, Ivy met with Professor Lan. Given Tony’s critical condition, the professor arranged a hospital bed. Further contrast CT scans confirmed the diagnosis: colon cancer with liver and peritoneal metastasis.

The doctor explained that peritoneal metastasis is like fine sand scattered in the abdominal cavity, impossible to completely clear. Tony’s intestine had swollen to the size of a fist, causing a life-threatening bowel obstruction that required a colostomy. The doctor also admitted the surgery was highly complex; if unsuccessful, Tony’s survival might be limited to three months. To spare Tony from overwhelming stress, Ivy kept this worst-case prognosis to herself. Suppressing her anxiety, Ivy coordinated preoperative preparations while reaching out to Tony’s relatives and childhood friends in Hong Kong via social media to update them and invite visits. Shocked by the news, they quickly formed a support group to share updates and offer companionship. On the morning of January 14, during the hospital’s grand rounds, Professor Lan assessed Tony’s urgent condition and scheduled the colostomy surgery for that evening. Around 9 PM, Tony was taken to the operating room. The two-and-a-half-hour procedure was successfully completed, completely resolving the bowel obstruction. As the anesthesia wore off, Tony’s first mumbled question was still looking for Ivy. With postoperative pain greatly reduced, he stayed awake all night, repeatedly trying to get up and move. Meanwhile, the constantly tense Ivy finally slept soundly. During the hospital stay, a warm-hearted fellow patient shared medical experiences and guided them through genetic testing, bringing comfort to the couple seeking treatment far from home. It was also here that Ivy learned to change Tony’s ostomy bag for the first time. Nervous, heartbroken, and anxious, her panic overwhelmed her, and she quietly shed tears. Later, Ivy started taking handwritten notes. She copied down nursing tips, colon cancer knowledge, and medication side effects. As she wrote, her mind calmed, the panic faded, and the knowledge stayed with her.

Tony stayed in the hospital for over twenty days and returned to Shenzhen just before the Spring Festival. The port implanted before surgery prepared him for upcoming chemotherapy. The costs for surgery, hospitalization, supplies, and accommodation exceeded 100,000 RMB, all out-of-pocket, bringing immediate financial pressure.

「 IV 」

After discharge, Tony and Ivy enjoyed a pleasant Spring Festival at their Shenzhen home. The surgery was successful, and Tony happily played mahjong with his parents. Ivy finally relaxed her nerves after a month of tension.

They assessed their situation: the critical obstruction was resolved, but long-term chemotherapy and a second peritoneal surgery were still needed. Public hospitals in Hong Kong had long waiting times, risking treatment delays, while private hospitals were unaffordable. Tony hadn’t purchased commercial insurance yet, facing huge financial strain. Additionally, their new home in Hong Kong wasn’t ready, making treatment there inconvenient. Given their positive experience in Guangzhou, they decided to continue treatment on the mainland. As a Hong Kong resident who had bought property and lived/worked in Shenzhen long-term, Tony met the six-month residency requirement for local insurance. They promptly applied for Shenzhen’s medical insurance for Hong Kong and Macao residents. The process was smooth and efficient. Tony submitted his documents after the Spring Festival, registered in February, and coverage took effect in March, significantly easing the burden of future high treatment costs. After resting, they returned to Guangzhou, consulted several experts, and finalized the FOLFOX plus cetuximab regimen. The first chemotherapy started on February 15. With insurance not yet active, a single session cost around 18,000 RMB, fully out-of-pocket. In March, once insurance took effect, although cross-city inpatient chemotherapy couldn’t be fully registered, reimbursement drastically reduced costs. Initial out-of-pocket expenses dropped to 3,000-4,000 RMB, and with standardized treatment, the same imported drug chemotherapy later cost only about 180 RMB per session, greatly relieving financial pressure. While accompanying Tony through treatments and traveling to Hong Kong for his studies, Ivy researched his condition through patient groups and medical literature, managing all medical arrangements. Hong Kong universities have strict attendance policies. While caring for Tony, Ivy refused to fall behind in her studies, traveling between three cities, an exhausting endeavor. Her frequent absences nearly triggered academic dismissal. Once teachers and classmates learned of her situation, they offered help, allowing Ivy to maintain her studies and keep up with coursework. Despite hours-long cross-border commutes daily, she refused to be apart from her husband.

In their past life, Tony had always been the attentive caregiver. Even on this long cancer journey, his gentle habits never changed. Despite multiple chemotherapy rounds and fluctuating health, Tony still packed her clothes and handled daily chores in advance. Chemotherapy was grueling, often causing rashes, fatigue, and dull pain, but Tony never complained to Ivy first. He endured it alone, fearing it would add to his wife’s worries as she balanced studies and caregiving. But Ivy knew every subtle symptom was a signal. Heartbroken by his stoicism, she urged him to always tell her immediately if he felt unwell. Ivy also tried to bring joy to the monotonous treatment days: she folded medical gloves and scarves into cute cartoon shapes, bringing steady, gentle warmth to their dark times.

Tony loved playing SD Gundam G Generation Eternal. He would always hold Ivy’s hand to “borrow luck” when drawing game cards, consistently getting good pulls. He jokingly called her his exclusive “lucky star.” Laughter and joy were hidden everywhere in their difficult days.

However, the Guangzhou cancer hospital was overcrowded and noisy, with frequent shortages of certain imported drugs. Coupled with Ivy’s need to balance her Hong Kong studies, constantly traveling between Guangzhou and Shenzhen left her exhausted and stretched thin. They gradually shifted to inpatient chemotherapy at a private hospital in Shenzhen. Shenzhen’s insurance covered treatments there as well, with only items like bed fees out-of-pocket. This improved their comfort and better balanced life and studies.

「 V 」

Fortunately, Tony’s initial chemotherapy responded well. Tumor markers dropped significantly, and liver lesions shrank noticeably. Recommended by a fellow patient, Ivy chose Professor Chen at Sun Yat-sen University Cancer Center for the second surgery. By then, Ivy had joined the “Panda Group,” where peers and veterans became a solid support network: sharing advice on managing chemo side effects, medication references, hospital choices, and cross-city treatment tips. The group’s proxy consultation service at the cancer center provided full assistance, handling queues, appointments, and doctor coordination, saving them immense time and travel. From the first consultation with Professor Chen in March, the careful proxy service scheduled Tony’s surgery, successfully securing a slot for August 28, 2025. This was a laparoscopic exploratory surgery, but due to peritoneal and multiple metastases, it was highly complex. During the procedure, lesions in the pelvis, pancreatic body/tail, and spleen were removed. Liver lesions were left untouched, with a PCI score of 4. During the pre-op discussion, the attending doctor told Ivy the surgery might not succeed. Anxiously, Ivy watched Tony enter the OR at 9 AM and not return to the ward until 10 PM. Ivy still remembers Professor Chen telling her afterward: “Don’t worry. Though it was difficult, we completed it successfully.” Her suspended heart finally eased a little. A neighboring patient warned that the first night post-op was critical, so Ivy stayed by his bedside all night, never leaving.

That day happened to be their seventh anniversary. Without flowers or dates, they celebrated in the most special way, guarding each other in the hospital room. On the eighth day post-op, Tony underwent HIPEC (hyperthermic intraperitoneal chemotherapy), but developed a fever for several days with abnormal drainage fluid, forcing a temporary halt. This surgery caused greater trauma, and his recovery was much slower. It took a long time before he could barely walk. Ivy walked with him slowly: down long corridors, on quiet rooftops, in tranquil gardens. Two figures supported each other, step by step.

The twenty-one-day hospital stay was grueling, but a sudden rainbow after a rainy day pierced through the gloom, bringing hope to their low moments.

On discharge day, Shenzhen’s insurance proved its strength again: out of nearly 110,000 RMB in costs, the final out-of-pocket payment was under 10,000 RMB.

「 VI 」

Early post-op follow-ups showed tumor-related indicators remained normal. Just one month after the second surgery, follow-up results revealed comprehensive recurrence in the liver, intestines, and peritoneum. Lesions had grown compared to pre-op, and tumor markers surged sharply, reversing the previously positive trend.

Ivy then embarked on a long journey of adjusting treatment plans and managing complications. Initially, Tony followed the irinotecan + fluorouracil plus bevacizumab regimen. After six consecutive cycles, tumor markers kept rising, and imaging showed uncontrolled lesions, indicating poor efficacy. Based on his condition and medication history, doctors switched back to the previously effective irinotecan + fluorouracil plus cetuximab regimen. After reverting, indicators quickly dropped, and lesions were suppressed. However, cetuximab caused stubborn rashes, and repeated use gradually weakened its efficacy, leading to a tug-of-war where each cycle yielded smaller improvements. Just as one issue settled, another arose. Routine blood tests before a chemo session revealed severely abnormal liver function. The next day, Tony’s eyes turned yellow. Further tests confirmed biliary obstruction caused by tumor compression, with transaminase and bilirubin levels far exceeding normal ranges, a critical situation. They immediately underwent interventional surgery at a Shenzhen private hospital, placing a drainage tube to relieve the obstruction alongside liver-protective therapy. After over ten days of hospitalization and conditioning, liver function gradually recovered, but the damage left a lingering risk. Resuming treatment after discharge, liver injury recurred within three days, requiring another hospitalization for liver protection and repeatedly interrupting chemotherapy. Consecutive liver injuries made the original regimen unsustainable. Attending physician Professor Deng devised a new plan, switching to TAS-102 + fruquintinib for maintenance therapy. Throughout treatment, liver function and tumor markers were closely monitored, supplemented with liver-protective medications. Currently, the treatment focuses on stabilizing the condition rather than aggressively shrinking lesions.

「 VII 」

Facing recurring illness and successive complications, the couple has long shed their initial panic. They calmly and honestly discuss all future possibilities, carefully arranging their affairs in advance. Tony says he has already written a will, leaving everything to Ivy. Ivy’s life remains trapped in a cycle of studying, traveling, and accompanying him to treatments. Right after a class presentation, she immediately departs from Hong Kong back to the mainland. Countless trips through immigration halls have made every procedure second nature to her. She once loved the dazzling night lights of Victoria Harbour, but now the city’s bustle no longer moves her. Her only wish is to rush back to Shenzhen and stay by Tony’s side. Their daily life is simple and quiet: he plays games in his room, she watches dramas beside him. Without grand moments, just being together brings profound peace. Nine years of companionship began with a summer glance and endured through illness and storms. He still smiles and calls her his lifelong lucky star, and she willingly remains his eternal safe harbor. The road ahead is thorny, and hardships may not fade easily, but two closely intertwined hearts, wrapped in enduring love and unyielding courage, walk slowly forward together, quietly sharing every sunrise and dusk. As Ivy wrote on Xiaohongshu: “It’s false to say I’m not anxious; every follow-up feels like an exam. But life must go on. Can we just stop moving forward? Adjust your mindset, gather your strength, and we will keep walking steadily, step by step. We are not ready to surrender in this battle of life.”

To protect patient privacy, names in this article are pseudonyms.

Images featuring the patient's portrait are used with authorization and may not be reproduced without permission.

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